From time to time, I get questions from concerned parents that would pertain to other parents and athletes as well.
*Question from a typical parent*
My daughter is 14, plays soccer and basketball, and currently in 8th grade. In soccer, she plays on a high-level premier team and on the state Olympic Development Program team.
In basketball, she plays for her school and AAU. She is a straight A student, outgoing and friendly. In sports she plays hard (and has the injuries to prove it — hip, knee, ankle,
shoulder) and is very competitive.
Coaches characterize her as a very good athlete, motivated and committed. Coaches constantly preach/plead to her to take a more active role in the games. She will tell you that she is the best practice player but at game time, it just does not happen consistently.
She often is content with just contributing and not making a mistake and therefore does not play up to her ability. What would you suggest in this situation?
My response: This is a very common issue with athletes that have fear of failure. Athletes with fear of failure are usually very hard working athletes that want to win badly, but are afraid to make mistakes and lose the game. It’s ironic that athletes who want to win so badly are the most scared to lose or make errors.
This causes athlete to have an avoidance mindset instead of an aggressive mindset. They play tentative and sometimes appear (from an observer’s perspective) like they are not trying or are not aggressive.
Your first step is to identify what the ‘ultimate’ fear is for her. For example, she may be afraid to take charge in a game for the fear of losing the game and then worry about her
teammates not liking her or accepting her (which is a false assumption on her part typically).
Dig in with her and find out what the ultimate fear is and you may unlock her potential.
We all want the best for our kids….. I know I do. Sometimes we have to do different things to “unlock” the potential that our children have in order for them to be successful. Make sure you are trying to unlock your childs potential……
Coach
Coaches Corner 